I recently spent a week in NJ and NYC and as always, it was incredible. This time was a little different than most trips back though. Usually I only get to see my Liquid buddies for a day, but this time I got to spend a whole week with them and be a part of the church again. Two of my friends from Chicago and I went to volunteer for Camp Rock, which was Liquid's Outreach for this year. Although it was exhausting, I haven't had that much spiritual fulfillment in quite awhile. I left everyday with a HUGE smile on my face and a very very tired body.
Every time we went into the city, I felt energized and an overwhelming feeling of joy. I'm not in love with New York City because it's New York City or because it's supposed to be the "greatest city on earth". I just...love it. There are a million reasons that I could use to say why I do... but then I'll just start to bore you when I start talking about the fire exits on the apartments in SoHo or how I oddly love people watching on the subway.
There were moments on this trip, where I felt nothing but pure joy and happiness. I remember watching the final performance of the Camp Rock on Sunday, and just thinking that it was a perfect moment. I had a couple of great friends with me and I was at a church that I truly love. I soon realized, that when I actually make my move east, its not going to be that easy. I won't have my Chicago community with me all the time. For the most part, I'm going to have to make all new friends and start all over in a new city. Even though I know my way around the city, I don't live there yet. I know it's going to be much different that what I think it will be. It's not going to be butterflies and lollypops everyday. It will be tough. This was also made very apparent to me when I took a quick little trip to the ER on Sunday night. My left arm started to go numb and I felt very light headed, and of course I jumped to extreme conclusions and thought "heart attack, yup that's what's happening. I'm 22 and having a heart attack. No previous history of heart problems...but yes that's what's happening." I immediately ran to the church office to find one of the wonderful ladies I worked with last summer and knew she would calm me down. She ended up taking me to the hospital and constantly reminded me that I would be ok. I remember sitting in the car, thinking that that was the end. I prayed, but I was such a frantic mess that I don't think I made much sense to myself or God, but he knew what I needed. I had a sense that everything would turn out just fine, and that everything was in God's hands.... not mine. During my wait in the ER, Lois and I just talked and eventually I was able to think straight again. Luckily, it was just a muscle spasm and my EKG turned out to be better than the doctor's. That's another awkward story for another time. My time in the hospital, although scary, was a blessing in disguise. Lois dropped everything at the office to take care of me. She came to my aid as if I were her own. I was reminded that even though God may not be a physical presence, he shows himself through the love of people.
One of my friends on the trip asked me what my favorite thing was to do in New York, and I said to show my friends around the city. Showing them something that means so much to me. There are few things that bring me more joy. I absolutely love discovering new places and then showing others. When I eventually move to New York, and stop talking about moving there, I hope I can show God's love to those around me. I hope I can show my new community how much God has done for me, and how at any moment he would drop anything and everything to be by my side because I am his own. In a city that is obsessed with promotions, money, and image; I hope to show them a God that loves them when they don't make senior partner, get a huge raise or can't fit into the jeans they wore last year. Simply put, God is Love. Nothing will ever change that.
